Man Up | Ep. 02 • August 18, 2015
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or over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.
Once a nerdy, skinny professor of philosophical psychology who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach using therapeutic methods. Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore. Formerly a professor at the National University of Singapore, Dr. Tian is actively researching, speaking, and publishing in the areas of philosophy and psychology.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man,” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in The Man Up private Facebook group and answers based on his experience Coaching tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.
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How Older Men with Kids Can Have Badass Dating Lives
In this episode, we’re going to talk about what a busy guy with kids can do to create a lifestyle with a lot of women.
Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.
Welcome to Man Up, episode 2. In this episode, I’m going to be talking about – well, I’m going to answer Matthew’s question here – and Matthew’s question is: How does a busy guy with kids create a lifestyle with an abundance of women. Just to let you know, I come into the office and my assistant hands me these questions so I haven’t really thought about it ahead of time.
But I’m thinking now that there’s so much to actually say about this one, I’m going to make it narrow it. But Matthew, we can follow up over email to get more.
But basically, there are a lot of things you can do. I’m assuming if you’re busy you generally don’t have time during the week. If you have kids and you’re trying to create a lifestyle with an abundance of women, I’m assuming that you’re either separated or divorced or never married.
So you have kids probably on the weekend – that’s how the legal system is working these days. I guess, I gather is during the weekends you’re spending time with your kids and usually that’s the time when guys are going out to meet women. So you don’t get to have that time to do it. What you have instead – well, you can make use of your week days and it’s pretty easy to schedule things between Monday to Thursday or Monday to Friday.
I assume your kids aren’t coming over Friday night but if they are then it’s Monday to Thursday, so let’s take that worst case scenario. Because if they’re coming on Saturday morning, you can go out on Friday night and hang out with the buddies or go to the bars or just socialize, go to social events.
But Monday to Thursday, if you’re in a big city – and I happen to know Matthew is, he’s in a city with over a million people – there are events during the week. One thing that’s really good is if you can get plugged in to those events, in that events schedule.
There are fashion shows, there are boutique openings, there are launches for restaurants, there are all these kinds of things, you can go to those. During the week you can also go to any kind of dance classes or social dances, like Couple Dances, Ballroom Dancing, Salsa, of course any kind of Latin dance is good, Bachata is really great. So any kind of dancing would help you, obviously will require you to be in physical contact with a woman and it provides this venue for you to chat afterwards.
Usually after a dance class, people just hang around for a little bit and that’s when you can get to know people even further and exchange contacts. But of course, you can flirt while you’re dancing, no problem, right? You can also go to other classes – I mean the sky’s the limit on this, between Monday to Thursday.
But always be doing hobbies and passions that involve other people. So if for instance you’re learning guitar and all you do is you go to your teacher and otherwise you sit at home and practice by yourself, until you get good enough to join a band – and even then – you’re not going to be meeting people through that, right?
So look for ways of spending your time between Monday to Thursday that involve other people, other venues. If you want to do music, you could do choirs – those are really good – I think you get the idea, right? You can just brainstorm your way through – what are some group activities that I could join during the week and how can I fill my schedule up like that? And pretty soon, after you’ve made contacts with people and just get to know them as friends, you’ll have an abundance of friends.
If you’ve picked the right activities, like dancing, for instance, or yoga or wine tasting or cooking classes, you’ll have a lot of females in there and you’ll get this abundance of females and then they’ll start hooking you up with their friends. All right, so just work the social circle. And there you go! So there are a lot of different ways you can transform your lifestyle even if you’re confined to just week days.
All right, so that’s episode 2. Make sure you join our Facebook group so we can get more of your questions. I want to hear from you, I want to know what you think of the show, I want to hear what your questions are. You can leave comments or questions. You can either also do it right under this video but you should also join the Facebook group. All right, man. See you next time.