Man Up | Ep. 77 • February 22, 2016
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or over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.
Once a nerdy, skinny professor of Asian philosophy who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach. Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore. Formerly a professor at the National University of Singapore, Dr. Tian is actively researching, speaking, and publishing in the areas of philosophy and psychology.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man,” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in The Man Up private Facebook group and answers based on his experience Coaching tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.
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In episode 77 of man up, I answer the question of: How to meet a girl at work?
[Intro Music] Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up!
[Music Fades] Hey, it’s David Tian, Ph.D. and this is episode 77 of man up. I’m on another part of the mountain, the dedication in getting this thing done and shot. So visibility’s kind of low. Making my way over to lunch meet my friends at the base there. There’s this little trick shelf there.
How To Approach A Girl and How To Meet New People
Anyway, answering question from Lao in the private Facebook group, and it is episode 77. Again I can’t read it because I’m using my iPhone actually to film this. So we’re going by memory. Lao is asking, he has this cute girl that came to his office. He only introduced himself at some kind of… actually I don’t even think he introduced himself. He was just… he knows that she’s there, she knows that he’s there he assumes.
Instead of summoning the courage to talk to her in person, he instead sends her a Facebook message and sends her as a friend, sends her a message “hi, my name is such and such. Nice to meet you, can we be friends? I’m in the office. How’s your day in the office?”. She hasn’t replied. He’s asking me why she hasn’t replied and then he was like, “what should I do?”.
Okay, for all you weird… okay look, man, Lao, I’m not going to call you weird because there are so many men like this in Asia, this is not normal. This was normal a hundred years ago. This is especially normal, if you needed an introduction to talk to somebody if you were too pussy, like, if you were too… lack of bravery, courage or whatever it is.
So you talk to a girl then you depended on the introduction from a family member or an acquaintance of the girl, and then you know, you guys met and you guys started courting. Like you met her in the drawing room of the house or something. Welcome to 2016! You’ve got to man up. Women have a lot of freedom in choice now, they expect men to step up. If you’re too chicken to even say hi to her, how can she respect you as a man.
If you don’t know how to say hi to a girl in the office, it’s really sad. It really is. I feel for you man. That’s probably why auratransformation.org, my main site, you’ll see there are three buttons under the main video. Click on any of those buttons and any of those courses for free will help you get over your anxiety socially. It will make you at least be able to not be creepy.
Making New Friends
So this is just… of course she’s going to ignore you. In fact, if you message her again she might just block you. The only reason she’s not blocking you right now, is you’re at your work. Then that might be awkward right. She’s trying to be civil and polite. What you should do instead is grow a pair and go say hi and joke around with her.
How To Start a Conversation and How to Attract Girls
Learn how to joke with girls, learn how to joke with people. Make her laugh. Just start there. Start with making her laugh. Then invite her out to a group outing. It’s usually the best bet when it comes to work. You know you can just organize a half hour drinks. If you do not drink alcohol, no problem.
Organize a dinner with your friends at work usually on a Thursday or Friday. It’s time to take charge. Time to be a leader. It’s time to stop hiding behind your fucking computer and its time to grab your balls and walk over and talk to people especially girls you like.
They won’t respect you until you do unless you’re which one with an arranged marriage because that’s where you’re going. Get an arranged marriage or maybe do one of those lunch… lunch date companies and do that match making thing. Unless you man up and actually go and talk to people on your own, there’s a pretty much your only, you’ll have to resort to those two or more. Maybe somebody else is going to hook you up. You’re not going to have any power of your own.
So I prepared those three free courses on auratransformation.org, go and get them. In the meantime, join the private Facebook group – announcements coming up again – perfect, under five minutes. Yes! So basically, the moral of that question is man the fuck up! So until next time, join the private Facebook group.
Ask your questions there. I appreciate all your questions, even these ones. I really appreciate them. I’m just trying to use strong language to shock him out of his complacency and his fear. Alright, so this is for your own good. Alright, enjoy that!
Until next time, see you in the private Facebook group.