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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D. — a uniquely qualified therapist, life coach, and former university professor — has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their relationships, dating, psychology, and lifestyle.
Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man” (https://www.davidtianphd.com/blog/), is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/manupcommunity/) and answers based on his experience coaching tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.
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Are Workplace Romances Even A Good Idea?
David Tian Ph.D. discusses the implications of office romances.
David Tian Ph.D. advices men to tread carefully on these type of situations.
In this Man Up episode, David Tian Ph.D. deliberates on whether men should take the risk on workplace romances.
In episode 31, we talk about whether workplace romances are even a good idea.
Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up!
Hi, I’m David Tian, Ph.D., welcome to Man Up, this is episode 31. I’m just going to read the question.We’re on the workplace question and it is, “Is workplace romance even a good idea?” So, I’m answering that question, “Is workplace romance even a good idea?” It really depends on what country you’re in, the laws around it. The company you’re in, their policies around it. If it’s a small company, no, there’s just too much potential of drama and mess up. I mean potential for chaos at your work.
You could lose your job or she could lose her job if it goes bad. So if it’s a small company I would just say, don’t bother. Learn how to meet women outside of work. That’s pretty easy. That’s what we do for a living. That’s what I do for a living. That’s what our company is all about. If you don’t know how to do that yet, go to auratransformation.org and learn.
But if you’re in a big company and if it goes south, you could transfer to another department or something like that if that’s not too much of a trouble. If it’s a big enough company and it wouldn’t be so disruptive for you or her to actually switch departments or something. Or if you’re in completely separate divisions and you wouldn’t even – even if you didn’t get along, if you breakup, you don’t get along, it wouldn’t affect anything then go ahead.
A basic idea is I would run it by your boss. You don’t have to tell him specifically what girls you’re interested in but if you feel like a relationship with this woman is developing into something, you should probably run it by your direct superiors so at least you pass the buck onto him or her, and your superior now has to deal with it. But if you don’t tell him, you’re on the sly; it’s all on you, man, so I would run it by your superior.
And this really comes down to HR Policies which is not my area of expertise. So just tread carefully. If you’re asking me this then you’re already kind of obsessed about this girl or you’re in love with her already in which case you’re just going to rationalize your way into whatever it is you feel like you ought to do. So there’s only so much my advice will take you on this but the best thing is actually not to take that risk.
I’ve never personally been in a situation where I would do that. Once you have the skills where you can just meet people anywhere you are like on the streets or in the shopping malls or in the cafes, wherever you go, you wouldn’t take these risks. Now if you fall in love, obviously, everything goes out the window, all the rules go out the window and you just follow your heart, right? But it’s better to develop the skills where you can meet anyone wherever you are. Whenever you travel or whatever setting you’re in, right, and that’s the better policy.
If you want to learn how to do that, we do that for a living. It’s my company; we do that for a living – auratransformation.org. We got lots of free video courses to walk you through how to do exactly that. Okay, man. I’m David Tian, Ph.D., this was Man Up and I will see you in the next episode. Before I forget, make sure you join the private Facebook group so you can interact with me personally and ask your questions and interact with the guys in the private Facebook group. So click on that link and join the Facebook group. I will see you inside the private Facebook group, until next time – man up.