January 28, 2014
Creating Purpose and Finding Passion
Too many Asian men tend to have their entire lives wrapped up in work, money and pleasing others. To be independent, happy and attractive to women you must create a sense of self that is independent of your job and money. If you are over 25, you have likely wondered if your life has a higher purpose. I’m not talking about some higher “meaning of life” or God, I mean just finding something you’re passionate about that helps you and others.
Perhaps you are somewhat successful in your field, but you are working too much, either at your actual job or at pleasing others. Like a good Asian boy, you make no time for yourself. You are afraid to spend any of your money because you were taught to save.
Where will this get you? Sure, when you are 80 years old you will finally be so rich that you can afford to buy a yacht and surround yourself with young girls. Of course, by then you will need a ton of viagra and you’ll have no energy to move.
Instead, think of how you can have a good future, but also enjoy your life NOW. Find your passions and purpose.
How do you find your purpose? You have to make the time to discover it. I’m assuming that you don’t have tons of free time because you work very hard at your job.
If you don’t know what your passions or purposes are, you can make time to discover them by stopping your daily routine and habits, your busy work, and all of the things that distract you from your greater goals. You need to stop that because we get lost in our routines.
If the word “purpose” is too weighty, then think in terms of your “passions.” What is it that you are really motivated to do? What do you look forward to doing every chance you get? Eventually, as you get more involved with your passions, you’ll begin to look beyond yourself and discover a greater purpose that your passions can lead you to. But if you can’t think of a purpose yet, then just follow your passions first.
You’re looking for your core desire because your purpose is your core desire. What is it that you really want? That’s the question. All of my coaching programs start with that. Sure, some people might say, I went Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or I want sex, basically that I want to have some XYZ momentary pleasure. But that’s not what your core desire is.
Don’t lose yourself in the easy distractions of just having a beer with your buddies every weekend talking about girls (but never taking action with girls). Don’t waste your nights drinking at the hawker centres or void decks with your old school chums because if you do that, before you know it, you’ll be old and grey and stuck in a rut.
You have to take some time to find your core desire – no one can do that for you but you.
You can start by looking at your life and asking yourself what satisfies you and what displeases you. Do you still like your job? Would you rather be working in a different field? Do you get excited at the idea of quitting your job? Or, do you get excited at the idea of just making more spare time to work on some hobby? The point is, you have to do some thinking and figure out what would make you more excited about life, and then do it.
Remember, nothing in your life will get better if you simply continue to do what you have always done. You need to shake it up and do something that excites you.
If you are really having trouble finding your passion then one idea is to try different things and see where it takes you. You simply don’t know what you will like until you try it. Spend time with new friends that you look up to, and try some of the adventures that they enjoy. Curious about surfing? Try it. Curious about skydiving? Try it. Love to look at artwork? Then try photography or painting or whatever art interests you. Look for things that may be hidden passions and give them a try. Travel. Explore. Have some fun and sow some wild oats. Or you could go on a meditation retreat in Thailand or Bali. Do a yoga retreat and detox weekend alone. You’ll be surrounded by women there, but don’t get distracted, ha. You’re there to “find yourself.”
Accumulate some new experiences. Test yourself and challenge yourself and take life to the edge for a while.
For the start of the Manifesto, click here.
For Part 1, of this section on Independence, click here.
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