January 16, 2014
Stay Independent, Even in a Relationship
Another way of developing independence is to train yourself to be more decisive and take action. When you’re with a woman especially, don’t force her to make decisions. When you’re on a date, decide for yourself what you want to happen. Decide where you want to go, what you want to eat, and plan it all out.
Dating tips for men
You obviously want to take into account her preferences, her desires, and all of that. In fact, go ahead and ask about those, but in the end be sure that you are the one who makes the final decision and takes initiative.
Why? Because most women want to relax in the comfort of your direction. Some women might take the feminist road and say no, no, this is so sexist because we women, we don’t need men anymore; we can do it ourselves. And it is true that women are obviously getting more and more successful and more on par with men in the professional world and so on. But you’re not acting decisively because you think she actually needs you to do that. You are taking the initiative because you are a masculine man and because she wants to relax when on a date; she wants the man to be decisive, take charge, and be a leader.
Once you start to follow this advice, you will find that girls will enjoy going out with you. This is when you have to be careful to maintain your independence even when you get into a relationship.
Too many Asian men treat their girlfriend as if she were a surrogate mother. In fact, men all around the world too often let their lives get totally absorbed by their relationship with the girlfriend. They allow their whole lives to revolve around her.
They stop hanging out with any female friends they had before and eventually they stop hanging out with their guy friends, too. This is bad on so many levels. First, even in a happy relationship you can never be all things for each other – you both need friends. Second, if you eventually break up, you now have no female support, and you have let all your friends go.
Despite what they say, this is not what women want either. As one friend of mine put it, “Women don’t want to be an adventure, they want to join an adventure.” Women do not want a man who gives up his entire self and life to be with them; that is the opposite of sexy.
Another common error among guys that are not independent is that, as I’ve discussed earlier in the Manifesto, they feel like they need to earn a woman’s approval. One result of this is that they invest too much materially, in money or gifts. People invest money and time into things that they value. What you want to do is turn it around, make her value you to the point that she spends her time or money showing that she values you.
Remember, also, that even in a relationship you both need to have outside interests. Having a life outside of each other will make you more interesting to each other. This means that you should spend time out with the boys, doing guy things with your guy friends. Also, let your girlfriend have girl time with her friends (but be careful: if she wants more than a few “girls’ nights out” a year, that is a huge red flag).
How to Attract Women
You should both strive to maintain your independence. This will add to your quality of life and make you more attractive to each other.
Remember, women want to join a man in his exciting adventure of life. They want to share in his passions. They want to join his cause and see him fulfill his greater purpose in life.
Stay tuned for the next installment on Independence.
For the start of the Manifesto, click here.
For Part 1, of this section on Independence, click here.
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